Hash Trash
HASH TRASH LAUGH
Tuesday, 28 December 2010 16:07
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.'
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me."
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady.
'You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot.
On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden.
So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers.
Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes!'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. OK? Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know', says the little old lady, 'not everybody pays.'
Hash Quotes Archives
Tuesday, 28 December 2010 16:05
Hash Quotes Archives
Hashers are very adept at the art of concealing what is not worth hiding
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If you had a mind, you could write like Shakespeare.
It is only the mind which is wanting.
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Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone.
Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them?
Okay, let's f--k!
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"I don't need a bigger 'mega' M&M.
If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two".
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"Hashers are determined to show if they have not got genius,
they you can at least be dull".
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"REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM."
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From the International Hash Dictionary:
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand." - - Woody Allen
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." - - George Burns
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The Husband Store
Tuesday, 28 December 2010 14:37
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may goto choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of
how the store operates.
"You may visit this
store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as
the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the
Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the
sign on the door
reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued,
but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs
and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks,
'But I want more.'
So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are
Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but
feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor
and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims,
'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor
and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay,
but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor
#31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at
the Husband Store.
PLEASE
NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a
New Wives Store just across the street.
The first floor has wives
that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have their own money
and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Next Runs
- Run #354 Clavo
Thu 23/02/12 - Run #355 Fancy Pants
Thu 01/03/12 - Run #356 Full Moon Mely "wild thing" Barbee
Thu 08/03/12
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